Sunday, March 7, 2010

OSCAR TIME! (aka I'm sick of the Avatar jokes already)


So awards season is coming to a close.... That means OSCAR TIME. The awards-show that was once extremely looked forward to, but now is semi-boring but we end up watching anyways. But alas, it is a reason for friends to get together and eat, drink, and be merry. So Kendallina has gathered the three most essential things for an Oscar Party: Winner picks, Festive Recipes, and The 2010 Oscar Drinking Game.

KENDALLINA'S REALLY OBVIOUS OSCAR PICKS:
BEST PICTURE: The Hurt Locker
BEST DIRECTOR: Katheryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker)
BEST ACTOR: Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart)
BEST ACTRESS: Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side) - Come on doesn't Meryl have enough freaking awards?
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Christoph Waltz (Inglorious Bastereds)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Mo'Nique (Precious)

FUN OSCAR THEMED MENUS:
Here's the link from Epicurious for the whole list of Nominee inspired menus. But here are some of my favs:

SOUTHERN TAILGATE inspired by THE BLIND SIDE

FRENCH BISTRO FARE, PLUS COLONEL LANDA'S STRUDEL inspired by INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS
Milk


HOMAGE TO BLUE inspired by AVATAR

SOUL FOOD FAVORITES inspired by PRECIOUS



THE SLIGHTLY UN-PC YET SO TRUE 2010 OSCAR DRINKING GAME
  • Every time someone references the Na'avi, Pandora, blue people, Avatar, James Cameron, 3D, or says "game changer. DRINK.
  • Anyone makes a reference to Titanic. (Chug if the person is James Cameron). DRINK.
  • Every time you see someone wearing a colored ribbon on their lapel. DRINK.
  • Every time someone mentions Haiti, Chile, or earthquakes. DRINK.
  • Every time you stifle a fat joke about Gabourey Sidibe. DRINK.
  • Self-Important, Self-Congratulatory, clip montage that emphasizes the "importance" of Hollywood. DRINK.
  • Reading Glasses? DRINK.
  • Someone pretends to go off teleprompter? DRINK.
  • Music starts to play before someone finishes their speech? DRINK.
  • Fat guy with beard on stage? DRINK.
  • A non-white person wins an award and we cut to a shot of someone in the audience who has no connection to the winner except being of the same race. (Our prediction: When Mo'Nique wins, we get a reaction shot from Hallie Berry.) DRINK.
  • A winner tries to connect whatever his or her movie was about to a real-world problem (i.e. Precious winner talking about abuses; Hurt Locker winner mentioning war in Iraq; an Up winner discussing the balloon shortage, etc.) DRINK.
  • An award is presented by someone who is obviously only there because he or she has a movie coming out. DRINK.
  • "I'm honored just to be mentioned with the other nominees." DRINK.
  • Someone makes a Meryl Streep Joke. DRINK.
  • Winner pulls out a list. DRINK... then punch self in face.
  • Random cut to George Clooney in the audience? Finish your beer.
  • Winner cries during acceptance speech. Finish your beer.
  • Winner gets political. Waterfall. - If you are watching alone: Finish beer then slam head through nearest wall.
  • Steve Martin or Alec Baldwin make a joke about their movie, It's Complicated being a terrible disappointment. Take a drink. Kick hole in TV screen.
And I swear if Mo'Nique shows off her NASTY hairy legs like at the Globes I will vomit all over TV. WHY MO'NIQUE WHY???????

No comments:

Post a Comment